Shelter of Wings blogger

Unusual Presence (Living On Other Side 2)

2011-12-08T13:33:00.000-08:00

I was going to say that I can't believe I let this blog go this long, but I do believe it. I'm not even embarrassed to say it anymore. I think prolonging updates have become a way of life here, on the site and FB. But that doesn't mean things aren't happening behind the scenes (I'm happy to say :-).

Before I get into the meat of this blog, I want to mention that we have the French version of Shelter called Sous Ses Ailes (Under His Wings) in development. What you see is our new logo for the cover. We have 3 great editors helping us now to smooth over the translation so that it flows in the Quebec language. It is being translated at a high school level and we're confident that nothing important such as the voice of the Spirit is taken away from what Shaina has already interpreted. We also have 4 unique opportunities to distribute these books up north, one from a secular publisher who is extremely interested. We're being careful to choose wisely.

I recently came back from visiting Shaina's church over the weekend for a GPS fundraiser to help us "Feed the French". They want to support us so we prepared lots of items to hand out including Christmas cards and gift tags, books of course, bookmarks, buttons, posters and ACEO's that Shaina had created from our images. We were shocked with how much money was raised! The funding will go towards the printing of an extra large amount of French books in addition to what will be distributed already. Our hearts ache so much for the lost.

Yes, we are working on Spirit Song, vol 2 in English although time is very limited. Both Shaina and I have families/homes to care for and other responsibilities, so I do wish for more free time. Is it wrong for me to wish to backtrack, be single again with no kids? Hehe, I'm not serious but I'd rather fast forward to Heaven where I can hang with loved ones, David and Jonathan! yep:)

I think it's time that I share the second part of our time spent in Quebec at the April seminar.

It was Friday, April 8 around 7pm when Shaina and I made it to the rustic retreat center in Lac Brome, while Hans drove to see his mother some distance away. It was warm and sunny, and I didn't find out until later that this weather was a bit unusual for the time of year. What a blessing that was! We were warmly greeted by the staff after trying to figure out the correct protocol welcome (do you kiss the cheek like the French, shake hands like Americans or hug as if you've known each other for ages??) I forget what Shaina did (I'll ask) but I hugged^^. One comment from renowned French comic artist Alain: "An American bear hug!" As they showed us to our private rooms with a few beds in them, I unexpectedly found a nice welcome basket, complete with chocolate, teas and assorted munchies! That in itself was worth the trip.

We unpacked and found the conference room, then quietly snuck inside and sat down near the back table to avoid any distractions from Nate's powerpoint session, Creating Characters. Already we missed the early classes including Overview of the Comic Process, Defining Your Audience and Planning Your Story, Comics Writing etc., so we were glad to finally become part of what we worked so hard for. We were happily introduced when Nate saw us, and I became a little surprised and embarrassed as he showed slides of my work to the students. When the teaching was over, we looked over everyone's homework, chatted awhile and began to form solid friendships.

Later that night, we found out that Joël Spinks, the pastor and head of Quebec Victory Church and EVQ Ministries, wanted to speak with us and we spent the next 30 minutes in deep conversation in the quietness of the cafeteria over the spiritual darkness of the region. I could sense it immediately, having felt the heaviness of the oppression as soon as I crossed the border. It was like someone placed a heavy rubber blanket over the front of my body, much like a restraining jacket. I ached for the people and it seemed that I could not get used to that feeling which did not subside as long as I stayed. It was very depressing. Joël explained it was not unusual to feel that way since evil spiritual forces dominate the region, and he told me that he prepares for it on a daily basis through combat prayer in order to be effective in ministry. He also told us that many ministries leave for America because they are too challenged here. I was stunned. After sharing more of the spiritual darkness, suicide, hopelessness of the people, we talked about God's power, protection and provision as he prayed over us. We said our goodbyes but received strong connection and unity.

By this time I was eager to get to my room and prepare for the following day--it would be a long one and I was already exhausted. I made sure to eat stuff from the basket.

Shaina and I said goodnight after unpacking and praying. I wasn't used to sleeping alone so I was a bit uncomfortable with the thought--having my hubby with me most every night over the past 21 years spoiled me rotten. It turned out that I could barely sleep and spent the night with the light on to read and pray. When the sun came up, I found myself a little tired and a bit afraid. I was prepared for the day's teaching sessions but also felt strange and uneasy.

I was greeted by a smiling Shaina after a knock on my door and we went down to breakfast. The awkward feelings began to grow but I pushed them aside to talk to the students. It was interesting to hear both French and English being spoken (some could speak both fluently) and I was made to feel very welcome and right at home. I quickly developed a fondness for the people. After all, God had told me ahead of time that I was like Ruth.(Side note: Shaina is to be like Jonah, but that's a story for another time!) This concept was not strange, since years prior I had already given my life to be used however Abba wanted, even becoming a "nameless nobody" in order that HE may receive the greatest glory. Today we understand that since the French would be given the greater portion of our newly found ministry, Gold Plum Studio, Shaina and I were assured that the English would still receive the "crumbs". I was grateful for that.

After breakfast, the staff and students met in the main conference room with whiteboards and a large screen. There was an amazing worship time in both French and English, with songs I was familiar with. God's presence was already with us as we had devotions, and the students shared their homework. Then the first PowerPoint session of the day began. Throughout the lecture I was sitting quietly to the side, with fear continuing to rise. I couldn't shake it. I couldn't breathe, while the heaviness that consumed me as I crossed the border intensified. I turned to Shaina next to me and told her I wasn't able to speak--she left quietly to tell others to pray. Then as I was escorted to one of the smaller rooms for prayer I began to wail.

The prayer warriors sat me down and layed their hands on me, praying out loud and in the Spirit. I couldn't stop crying and wailing, feeling the weight of fear and sorrow over the people of Quebec. I was overwhelmed with grief. I apologized for my loudness (I'm a naturally quiet person who dislikes extra attention) when I realized everyone in the conference room could hear me. Nate came in very concerned and prayed as well. It wasn't for another 15 or so minutes that I was able to calm down, fears had subsided to the point where I could function again. We all knew that something supernatural had taken place, and it wasn't until later that we found out one of the prayer women--a true servant--received what was meant for me: she was physically knocked out that afternoon as she helped disarm the adversary on my behalf. I thank the warriors for their help, and will never forget their servant's hearts.

After a trip to the bathroom to wipe my face, we quietly snuck back into the conference room where Nate was finishing up his Visual Scripts and Storyboarding session . It was a little awkward for me to return but Nate was very entertaining and lightened up the mood. I held my composure when it was our turn to teach Manga Illustration and Storytelling. The air was heavy and I could barely lift my arms, but not from the presence of the adversary--we all knew that HE was with us, and with great power!

I'll have to be rude here and stop the blogging. So sorry, but I'll have to continue this later.
Have a wonderful Holiday season (don't forget why you're celebrating)--and don't forget to visit the shelterofwings.com site during the Christmas season for a special gift! :) Many blessings!

--Lisa

Living on the Other Side Part 1

2011-05-22T18:34:00.000-07:00

Staff and 21 students of the Christian Comics Seminar, Lac-Brome, Quebec, 2011
I'm to the right of the man in the center and Shaina is to his top left.

Not surprisingly, this blog post took over one month to write. Since it's still incomplete I decided to break it down into parts which I'll be working on and uploading periodically. What I hoped to be a settling down of sorts after a long-awaited and much prepared for BD (Bandes Dessinees or comic books) seminar in Quebec became a time of work and business, but that's typical and I guess expected for now. I'm happy nonetheless.

So here it is, the first of a few blog posts devoted to the Christian Comics Seminar held in a rustic camp retreat in Lac-Brome, Quebec, this past April!

Living on the Other Side

Why the title? It happens to be the theme of my church until summer. My pastor had been speaking about how the Israelites crossed the Jordan and prepared themselves to take possession and live in their new territory. I found the correlation between this theme and how God is leading us very timely. What is happening physically is a reality of the spiritual in this case.

I can't tell you how anxious I am (in a good way) to do comics again. Right now things are beginning to settle down after an intensive three day Christian comics seminar that took months to prepare for, recently held in scenic Lac-Brome. I'm sitting in front of my pc with no (nearly no) distractions, listening to the soft, melodic chirps of finches outside my window while trying to gather my thoughts.

Last Friday afternoon around 5pm Shaina, her husband Hans, and I had finally crossed the border into Canada, having taken Interstate 87 from New York. We had driven north about 7 hours at that point (starting from Philly) and were getting a little antsy to stretch our legs. It was warm and sunny, and as I caught my first French stop sign ("Arret") after putting away my passport, it became clear that we were now in foreign territory. I didn't know how I'd do in a French speaking culture, considering I only took some French in highschool and by now could only understand a few words and phrases. Our trip to the BD seminar hosted by EVQ Media and put together by Comix35 was well underway and we wouldn't get there to participate until later that evening after getting something to eat first. We were excited.

Our first stop was to set foot and "claim" the territory. We're not presumptuous in saying this but it has been on our hearts and minds ever since we found out we were called to this people group (story for another time). Shaina and I didn't know exactly where we'd stop the car, but Hans pulled into a stone covered parking area next to Lake Champlain near Venise-en-Quebec. Shaina had a great idea to put oil on the bottom of our shoes as a symbol of the Spirit's anointing so I brought along my last batch of olive oil in a small jar. We stepped out of the van onto small rocks. I felt it was symbolic of "seed sown on rocky ground" since this territory is known among Bible circles as a hardened spiritual territory (but they are not without hope as God remembers them). Although I would never downplay the seriousness of any nation's unbelief in spiritual matters, I found it odd that Quebec has less believers than Japan being situated in our western continent; 1 in every 2000 people claim they know Jesus as their Savior as opposed to Japan's 1 in 200. The USA seems to concentrate evangelism strategies to reach the 10/40 window and other populations. Why? The pastor of EVQ sat down with us Friday night and told us point blank that ministries in Quebec have left their own province and have come into the USA because it's much easier for a church to thrive and gain support, the spiritual warfare is not as intense, and the money is much better. How sad that is! I have to admit that the adversity is indeed intense over this region which I will explain a little more in the next blog post.

After stepping foot on the land, thanking and praising God for all that He will do here, we got back in the vehicle and drove through what looked like a narrow country road. I caught the sight of a tall church building in the distance with an odd shaped steeple. I wanted to find out more about it but dismissed the thought until we drove around a large bend and came right up to it! I noticed something peculiar that I had never seen before stuck in the ground in front of the church: a foreclosure sign!

In all my years I had never EVER seen a Catholic church for sale. We definitely were in foreign territory.

God had been preparing our hearts for months and has shown me some important things about my role and relationship to come with the Quebec people. Shaina has been born and raised there, and God has graciously given me their heritage. My nationality is Italian, having both parents come through Ellis Island in the 1900's. The Italian mindset, a stubborn and proud one, is exactly opposite as that of the Quebecois, a humble and contrite people who often poke fun at themselves. This is a far cry from what I'm used to growing up, but something I've come to appreciate and love. I seem to be like Ruth, taking hold of Naomi's hand and saying, "Your people are my people!"

After spending some time on the property and taking pictures, we drove on until we arrived at our next destination--La Station des Patriots!

So here we are, hungry but alert. I had mentioned the Quebec people poking fun at themselves; one of the ways they do this is through their "greasy-spoon" rendition of a certain dish they're so fond of: the classic, traditional delicacy called poutine (pronounced poo-TSIN). I'm not sure what to make of it, and I'm not sure the Quebecois know either.^_^ It's an interesting concoction of french fries, brown gravy and cheese curds (I'm not kidding!) which Hans had to order for cultural purposes. :). Shaina and Hans bought me the Italian style poutine (they had so many varieties on their menu!) which substituted spaghetti sauce for gravy and mozzarella instead of curds. What did I think of the poutine? Well..it wasn't as bad as it sounded. I think the taste and texture of fries with the warm tomato sauce didn't blend as well as cold ketchup and fries do. And adding the cheese on top just complicated the flavors! On a side note, Hans also ordered some Quebec pizza I suppose to make me feel more at home. That was special, and he ate the leftovers.
Moving on to our stay at Lac-Brome and the comics seminar in the next update!

This Italian-style poutine deserves a spot in this blog all by itself^_^.

Sous Ses Ailes

2011-02-09T06:14:00.000-08:00

I believe that the year 2011 will be very pivotal. I also believe that this year we'll see the things we've been waiting and asking for fulfilled. And that this year will be a year of advancement for many people. It will be an exciting time!

It's been awhile since I posted in the blog; again I'm trying to find the extra time while steering away from wasting it, but I have important news to share. Side note: Forgive my wandering thoughts; even when I'm in the middle of a project or cleaning up and I see something else that needs to be done I immediately switch gears and start a new task. I'll do my best to complete each train of thought before I begin a new one this time.

For starters, I'll be completing the entire first volume updates in a few weeks! Once that is finished, the site will go stagnant....meaning I will not be updating much until we begin to take preorders for Vol 2. We'll keep selling the first book so keep that in mind! We will be updating on the Facebook page until we begin to post the initial pages of the next volume, but we'll let you know when it's ready. I'll still be updating the blog, though, so just check back.

About Volume 2, we're working steadily on it and will post some of the content later this year. I don't anticipate posting this book online when completed like the first version, at least not for a while. I may just have the first scene up or maybe the first chapter at best while we take preorders. I'm hesitant to show much, I hope you understand, but I will definitely give you news and nuggets along the way. I have to admit I'm definitely looking forward to finishing this!! A few months back I said it would be in a smaller format than the original version (standard 7.5 x 5) but actually it will be just the same size as the original (8.25 x 6). Artwise the size works better and will allow me to do more detail work without reducing to a pulp afterward.
Moving on, I need to share interesting news before I talk about the main topic:

EVQ Ministries and Comix35 have partnered to hold a Christian Comics Seminar in Lac-Brome, Quebec, Canada in April. Maybe some of you know that we'll be teaching there with four other comic artists. The seminar will be bilingual and Shaina will be translating my English to French. I'll be teaching two courses: Manga Style Illustration and Storytelling on Saturday (with lunch break included) and Producing Finished Art on Sunday. I've begun to compile what I need and hope that you will prayerfully consider this opportunity to take comic classes and meet us. There will also be singing/prayer time and down time to get to know each other at breakfast, lunch, dinner and afterwards. We'll also take time to help students complete their comic projects coorporately and one-on-one. It's really exciting~! I helped teach a seminar in August 2005 for Comix35 which really was a highlight. It seems like it wasn't too long ago, strange as it sounds, and I managed to find my original notes from that seminar. I remember vacationing in the Poconos with my sister's family a week before the training event, and whenever we went to a pool or relaxed at the cottage I had my notes with me...but at least I got everything accomplished! I'll be incorporating what I worked on back then into the new courses for this year. Please join us!

More news: Shaina will be designing a sister site in French! She'll take what is on the original Shelter site and create something for Francophone. She's also thinking about including a French podcast of the blog (she has a nice voice you'll love to hear even if you can't understand the language). And I'm wondering if I should actually have an English podcast to keep you up to date on topics Shelter related. I don't know; probably not. I guess I dislike my recorded voice--especially on my cellphone;;; Btw, if you ever call me and get my voicemail, don't be surprised how depressing I sound even when I try to act perky (and to think I used to sing....!) But I do know there are worse things in the world like not begin able to speak at all.

I'll be posting your fanart soon on our new Facebook page! I have to retrieve them from disks and a backup. I hope I can find all of them....T.T If you haven't already, please join our group and Like us :) You'll get recent updates as we help spread the Word. XD

At last we come to the main reason for this post: Sous Ses Ailes, pronounced "Soo-sez-ell", which is the french title for Shelter of Wings! :D I'm really excited about this book, not only because I've learned so much over the last few years, but it is written for the French population, namely the province of Quebec, specific to their culture. Shaina is doing a marvelous job of interpreting and adapting the material while relating it to the French Canadians--her own people group. It's heartbreaking to hear and read about the spiritual dryness of the land; so barren and sadly desolate. There are so few believers there, much less than those of other nations who we strive to evangelize. Shaina and I have been called through a union/partnership by the name JinLi, but that's a story for another time. We now have a new name and new mandate with a territory to claim for Jesus! Please pray for our efforts, along with those who have received the same calling.

Thanks for keeping up with this blog...be sure to check our Facebook page for updates and news.
Oh, and you'll find our work in this month's edition of Clubhouse magazine through Focus on the Family :) We have 3 illustrations, one a double-page spread! Hm, since we were featured in the October issue as well, I just might think about subscribing...

God bless!

Journals

2010-11-17T07:24:00.000-08:00

I thought it best to write a quick blog post considering my pc isn't working properly (no internet and corrupted hardware). I can't do any digital work and I'm not able to update the site until I get my pc back sometime today. You could say I've been a little frustrated, but even so, I've felt overworked and tired so I was a happy to have to wait. Even with a virus protector, somehow the main components became disabled and I'm not able to use the restore function. I wish I backed up my latest files but at least the pc is safely at a friend's house and I do have everything intact. I'm not able to update the site right now but as soon as everything is back in order, I'll change the main page. Sorry for the wait...as usual. Hmm. Can't even upload an image for you this time. C'est la vie, which is about all I can say from taking two years of French in high school.

Anway, I'm at a new beginning. Actually, this is the 2nd of new beginnings, since the initial one occurred in 2008, and was given to me supernaturally. Wow, this even was confirmed (I'm still learning to "hear"). Anything significant that happens is always documented or I know it will be forgotten. Even scripture that I've read many times can take on something deep and specific for me during a certain time in my life. If I don't write it down, I may forget all that God is trying to do with me and for others.

So, this is a new beginning. I know each of us are ministers and priests if we're believers, and we all are significant. Some of us are called for our neighborhoods and beyond, while others just in our own homes. No one is more significant than the other. Some are in the spotlight while others are meant to intercede behind closed doors. It's all the same in the kingdom of heaven, since what will be taken into account is our heart motivation and who we serve.

I've come to the last page of my journal and I'm ready to begin the next one given by my sister two years ago. It takes me a few years to complete a journal, and I think I've lost most of them other than two of the latest ones. Just as well, since I don't like to look back very far (I've changed so much but that's a good thing). I wondered what will start off my newest journal entry and asked God for the significance. Interestingly, I realized that my last entries are about ministry to Quebec--a new frontier for Gold Plum Studio. Maybe the significance of this, too, is the pc breakdown, and the fact that I have to have the hard drive wiped clean and start all over again. Just a thought. Or maybe that just means that my kids can't download all kinds of junk and think it's ok.

Anyway, a new frontier has begun. I'll let you know when I begin my newest journal entry and what becomes of it. I used to dislike seasonal changes into winter, but with the hope I've learned to trust, I think I'll be okay this time.

The Body and Blood

2010-10-07T10:42:00.000-07:00

Before I begin, I have to remind myself that I'm in desperate need of updating the illustrations and fanart pages on the Shelter site. So sorry for the delay. I purposely postponed these sections since I haven't had so much free time in the past few months and find that I have slightly less time now. But I will be working on it over the next few weeks, so please be patient! K? The illustration called Beautiful is nearing completion and I'll be making sure to update the rest of the step-by-step process on the site soon. The poster will be sold in our Gold Plum Studio shop for $5 (11 x 17) like our other posters. Make sure you take a look.

And now moving onto bigger and better things (and the purpose of this blog post):

Communion.

"For I received from the Lord what I also passed on to you: The Lord Jesus, on the night he was betrayed, took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and said, "This is my body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of me." In the same way, after supper he took the cup, saying, "This cup is the new covenant in my blood; do this, whenever you drink it, in remembrance of me." For whenever you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord's death until he comes."

Paul, the apostle, from 1 Corinthians 11:23-26

There are two elements to communion: one is the bread, representing the body of Jesus, and the other is the wine, representing His blood. If you'd like more info on this topic, I found a concise explanation here.

I took a picture of what I had this morning (inside the cup is not coffee :). I don't always have wine and matza on hand, but even if there are substitutions that's perfectly ok. Gratefulness, repentance, and the representation of the drink and food is what is important. Even the cup and saucers are representative for me...

Having been raised a Roman Catholic (I can actually say that I'm Roman; my mother's side of the family came from Rome) and having attended mass every week as a young girl until the age of 15 or so, I recall taking weekly communion from the priest. He would hold out the Eucharist-- white flat wafers resting in a silver chalice representing the body of Christ. He would say something, we would respond, then have him place the wafer inside our mouths (I think they've branched off from this tradition recently). I went to catechism classes so I understood the basic symbolism of what the wafers represented, but nothing more. I didn't really read the Bible outside of catechism, but I recall having a big illustrated children's bible that enthralled me whenever I looked at the pictures. I remember David and Goliath, the tower of Babel, and the flood most of all.

Since elementary school, I spent each night kneeling next to my bed and praying to God. I don't really remember what I said during those times, but after I hit puberty I started to say things like, "If you give me this person as a boyfriend, I'll never ask for anything else!"

A year or two after my mother became sick and was confined to a bed, I stopped going to mass. By that time I felt I had outgrown being spiritual and had no more interest in church related things. No one else did around me, and whenever I would walk into my church for mass on the few holiday occasions and such, it felt dead to me. Becoming more independent and trying to find myself, I was experiencing a new freedom that I never felt before. I lost touch with God although in the back of my mind I knew He was there. I began to feel guilty. I was like a prodigal son, although I only knew of God on the surface.

After spending a long time away from spiritual things and having gone through a series of events and misfortunes, God drew me back to Him. I began to seek Him more faithfully and attended another church that I eventually became a member of. What I thought was being full spiritually was only a small sample, and I knew that there was so much more to the things of God. I recognized that being spiritual was not simply attending a service, but an inner, very intimate relationship with Jesus Christ.

I think for many people taking communion is mainly a church occurrence and that's a sad situation in a way since the time is spent reflecting, praying and in worship--simply between God and the individual. It's great to be together corporately as a family of believers, but to have this type of intimacy and reflection only once out of every 30 or more days? I don't know. I do remember going to my church for years and being very excited to participate in communion once a month. To me, that time was special. I had been saved through the people from this church and had grown so much because of their influence and the teaching of the pastors. But during the course of the past five years or more, I became increasingly agitated and felt that something was missing. I knew there was more but didn't know how to go about getting it.

After years of seeking (it seemed that way) I began to do my own research and study of scripture. Slowly, it seemed, I was led to other ministries and began to develop an understanding of the power of a spiritual walk. I knew God did not want us to be spectators, but active participants. Through humility, struggles, obedience and dependence on faith, I began to change internally. And over the course of years, more children and seeing dreams fall and rise, his promises fulfilled and some in waiting, I began to see a glimpse of who God is and how much He loves me.

Because of this, taking communion started to become more important so I recently made it a point to do it at home by myself whenever I'm not at work. I've heard other people say how much their lives have changed and how much encouragement, inspiration, breakthroughs, and healing they've received simply because they chose to have this intimacy with God on a daily basis. I wanted the same thing. And I'm recognizing how much He hears and how attentive He is to what we have to say...it's really amazing.

I don't always have matza on hand; any bread will do. And if I don't have wine on hand, I use juice, sometimes apple, even water (Jesus did turn water in to wine). The whole point is reflection, submission, confession, thankfulness that God himself has come into our lives and lives inside of us, his own people, and that Christ died so that we can have fellowship and experience oneness with Him forever. What's more amazing is that through taking the body and blood of Christ, what I receive is far more beneficial than what I can give.

A few weeks ago, I went to a church and was glad that it was the day of communion (how great!). I was excited, but something interesting happened to me that particular day. When I held the drink and bread in my hands and began to talk to Jesus, something amazing happened. I felt the word "Elevation" sink deep in my heart and I couldn't shake it; God was telling me how much he elevated mankind so that we can have this special intimacy with Him! So I could share this moment with him personally! He elevated us so much to a position of honor that we didn't deserve. I don't know about you, but I wish sometimes that they wouldn't turn on so many bright lights in the sanctuary.

Then another amazing thing happened; I received the word "Humility". Not humility on our part, but His own. They way He elevated us to have fellowship with Him was to totally and completely become humbled to the point of becoming like us, and to die for us. So we were raised up while He was lowered, so much so, that we can't imagine it completely. If you think about it, what king or ruler do you know about today who would stoop so low for his own people, to the point of unjust suffering and death? Do you think our president would die for any one of us? If I can take this thought further, do you think he'd suffer a paper-cut? I hate to say it, but I have my doubts. Yet, the Creator of all kings and all rulers past and present completely and willingly humbled Himself and suffered humiliation and pain to the point of death so that we can become one with Him and to receive gifts beyond description. Communion, therefore, is about us receiving.

I often wonder what the future holds. Although things aren't perfect in this life, and how much I've wanted to jump ship and say "Take me now!", I still sense that there's a great purpose ahead. But what's most important is the daily communication with our Father who knows what we're going to say anyway. I think it's small talk that pleases Him the most. How much more is this connection when we are given assurance of his blessings and covenant promise of salvation and recognition through the gift of his body and blood. All in a small cup of juice and a wafer....just amazing.

My Hiding Place

2010-08-15T19:20:00.000-07:00

"There is no pit so deep that God’s love is not deeper still"

--Betsie Ten Boom

I was very inspired recently and felt a blog coming on after what seemed like an eternity. It's interesting to see the locations of all the people who are accessing this blog now that Blogger instituted a stat counter. I would have never guessed some of the countries where people are reading this from, so I'm quite amazed. Thanks for reading! I apologize for the lack of updates (yeh, said it before) and will continue to plug away with the site when I'm able. Our studio just finished a project that took precedence over everything else but now things have settled a bit. I don't go back to work for the county school districts until first week of September (YAY) and I can accomplish what I've LONGED to do for months. Shaina will also be coming by for a few days and we'll get to go over our other projects (DOUBLE YAY) so I get to draw and do digital art for us instead of someone else :) As far as this blog post is concerned, it's about my little hiding place, as the title plainly states.

One particular movie caught my attention when I visited my sister in Colorado about 6 weeks ago called "The Hiding Place" about the life of Cory Ten Boom and her sister Betsie as they hid Jews from a terroristic government and were sentenced to a concentration camp because of it. Corrie made it through by an unforseen mistake on the part of the German officials, but Betsie passed away right before that. It was so moving and inspirational, being created from a book of the same title that I had read years ago. I love biographies more than any other type of reading material, because faith grows as you listen to others who have gone through difficult circumstances, and made it through. Maybe that's why I love reading the old testament so much. After watching the movie though, I remember telling my friends that I'd never complain again. Nothing would be comparible to the hardships that these ladies faced, and I set my heart on being more positive with my speech and mindset. No easy task when all you have is hope that is in your heart and the promises of a loving God. Nevertheless, I became proactive in seeking the Father's face moreso than before and praying with a clear conscience and determination that all HE said HE would do will be done, no matter what I see around me. I'm slowly changing for the best, at least I hope so.

Although the title of the book suggests a physical place of hiding, as Corrie and her sister gave their home to house runaway Jews, it more clearly suggests our refuge Christ as the story progresses. I can personally relate. I, too, have a physical place of hiding as well as a place where I go to be hid with God spiritually. It is a place alongside a path where I take my dog for a walk, shrouded by trees on either side. It's a small patch of sunken ground where I sit and pray. I've shed many tears here over the past 5 years in pursuit of answers and petitions and to just praise and worship. I sometimes pray that an angel would meet me here. It's a very special place for me whenever I need to cry out to God. I've found much relief here as well knowing that God hears my every word.

I once had an image come to my mind very strongly during the more difficult times; I saw myself sitting in mid-air with my knees to my chest and my hands wrapped around my knees. I saw two large wings from behind me (they were not mine) gracefully wrapping around me in protection. It was a confirmation that I was sheltered physically as well as spiritually. I was so moved by the experience and often refer to that image when the pits of life that Betsie speaks of in her beginning quote become very difficult to bear.

Usually I'm very optimistic as I mentioned maybe more times than I can remember, but in the past some months and years just got the better of me. My family and I have completed an unforeseen transitional period, and since the dust has settled I feel relief in one sense. Normally I wouldn't want to go through another transition like that one, but I truly saw God's hand in it. I feel that I now can breathe again as I take hold of what was destined for me since the beginning. I know I'm moving forward finally and I'm so joyful in it. I cannot compare my circumstances with Corrie or Betsie, but I can relate to living in the shadow of the Almighty's wings, and having a hiding place of safety and rest when the storms of life do not subside.

Carry Me

2010-06-17T22:25:00.000-07:00

Once again, I'm in a period of waiting. Please carry me, Jesus.

My family had been in transition after some difficulties over the last 5 or so weeks. Although things have been crazy lately with much uncertainty, there also has been such blessing because of them. Life isn't perfect. How can I expect anything at all when nothing is guaranteed except God's promises?

During this time, I had been working for the Intermediate Unit over the last few months not by choice, but by necessity. Although I applied for this particular job (10 page application and a long interview with testing), I was hired after a few months of making sure all my forms were in, including a new child abuse clearance, criminal history check, and a few fingerprint records since the first few batches weren't "accepted" (I'm human, I tell you). I did miss being back in the classroom, and although working with autistic students and kids with special needs has its challenges, it's very rewarding. But working outside the home was not what I had in mind after I left my last job at a charter school last June. I wanted to believe that I wouldn't have to go back to work again, since my heart's desire is to do comics. Let me rephrase that--my life's calling and passion outside being a wife and mom. The fact I had to go back felt like it would nearly kill me.

About this morning, I had asked to be placed as an on-call sub, meaning if they needed me in any capacity from elementary to high school, I'd be available 3x/week. Fridays I work somewhere else, and I felt I needed Tuesdays off just to catch up with anything at home including art if I had the chance. I'm grateful to be earning consistently as our family needs have changed, but I think my heart has sunk to an all-time low. I can't help trying desperately to remember God's promises to me, and had to reread pages from my documented journal entries from prior months and years. Although circumstances may change, our Father never does.

This particular morning I knew I'd be called in; I had asked God for a day off which He gave to me on Wednesday so I expected a phone call to come in the following day (today). For the past few weeks I worked all over 4 districts, and the only school I didn't want to go back to was a certain high school where most of the students looked like linebackers. I'm serious, I think they eat growth hormones for lunch. When I worked in this unit a few weeks back, I felt like I did everything wrong, and the head teacher kept confirming that fact. I never felt so useless and unskilled. This woman kept correcting me, but I plugged away with each student in the best way that I knew how. I was glad when school finally let out and hoped I would never see that teacher again.

As I was preparing for a phone call early this morning, I had asked God to place me wherever He wanted me to be, or felt I needed to be on this particular day. Anywhere, except to that particular school. (I can ask, can't I?) I had very positive experiences at other locations, so I hoped to be somewhere a little less stressful. As God would have it, I was asked to go to *** again of all places in 8 districts I signed up to work for.

I didn't say much as I hung up the phone, and calmly prepared myself to be corrected all day long by this particular teacher. Figures. But that's how my life has been going lately. One big slap in the face after another.

I think I scared the teacher as I walked into class. Behind her polite smile was a look of utter horror, and I took my place beside a few of the students to supervise their work and behavior. Better get it over with, I kept telling myself. To my surprise, she left and was gone all morning (YEY!!) and I relaxed a ton while helping the students and getting to know the other teachers in the room. Just before lunchtime, she came back (NO!!) but I managed to pull through the day unbattered (sort of) and counted the minutes until school was over. I must have checked the clock a million times to find it was going backwards.

I sighed with relief as I drove home. Things just haven't been going my way lately; although I try to understand God's purposes still, I just can't figure them out. I can't figure out why I keep going in circles like Israel wandering in the desert. I check every area of my life to see what part of me is not right with God, if I'm sinning or being unfaithful. I always ask to be refined and to be pure; to be what HE wants me to be. I want to use what He's given me to honor Him with, but I have to be honest and say that I still don't fully understand His ways. I want so much to reflect Jesus, but still find myself barely clinging to my hopes and dreams. Why? Still? Again? I just don't understand.

Last night I had wanted some answers for certain things (some old, some new). I was exhausted because of the time and tears and couldn't sleep. I laid my Bible on the floor by the bathroom with the door slightly open to get some reading light. The book was opened to James 5:7

Patience in Suffering
⁷Be patient, then, brothers, until the Lord's coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains. ⁸You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord's coming is near. ⁹Don't grumble against each other, brothers, or you will be judged. The Judge is standing at the door! ¹⁰Brothers, as an example of patience in the face of suffering, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. ¹¹As you know, we consider blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job's perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.

So I keep going, even though I don't know all the answers. I hope to be a fast learner so I don't keep dragging my feet through all that sand and slow myself down even more.

On a side note, there was some down time today in class so I picked up a tiny dictionary and prayed over the words God would give me, if He wanted to speak to me. The first word was "learned" (not learn, btw), then "pulpit". I'm not quite sure what it means, but I hope to find out someday.

Being God's Child

2010-06-05T07:48:00.000-07:00

I've thought about updating my blog for a few weeks, as well as the sorely neglected GPS and JinLi blogs;;there have been many things on my mind, especially after coming out of a difficult challenge from the death of a loved one to other types of difficulties along with having to go back to work. Things don't always go my way, but I'm learning to let go and to rely on simple faith because I'm confident in God's promises.

I'll be sharing something from my old blog about being God's child (YEY for cut and paste) that I think may help hurting, possibly desperate people. It is my gift to you. Maybe soon I'll update something new when I get a little more free time. There is mention of our forum from the original Shelter site which I had to disable. But who knows? Maybe in the future we can start another as it is my passion to talk to all kinds of people. We'll see in time.

Shelter of Wings, Vol 2, chap1b

Being God's Child

I’m always thinking. Actually, sometimes I think too much. I don’t like to speak in public and I still get nervous in front of crowds. This happened to me quite recently on a few occasions. I only speak to large groups when I have to not because I want to unlike other people who seem to thrive on this type of atmosphere; I guess it has to do with my upbringing.

When I was growing up, I was extremely shy and nervous around adults for fear of messing up somehow. I always wanted to be the Princess; to be treated extra special. Instead, I was treated more like an inconvenience, a good-for-nothing “dummy” among many other things. So, I used to think a lot more than I spoke, and when I did speak, it was in a very quiet and insecure manner, and very rare as well. Even today as I talk to people, I don’t speak as much as I’d like, and I never think I communicate as well as I could; this reflects in my professional life as well as my personal life, although God has really influenced me in these areas and allowed me to overcome amazing hurdles. One of them was a dislike for myself and the other was fear.
This past week I was thinking about what it means to be God’s child, having a Heavenly Father. There is no fear of rejection, abandonment or abuse when our Father is God. It took me years to learn this. And it took me years to trust that God was loving and faithful–I wish I could relive those years of being a new believer again in total submission, but I have to come to the conclusion that God had allowed me to go through a time of not being faithful to him for a good reason.

During my early years as a believer, I wavered everyday in obedience. I loved the world too much, and sought after things that didn’t last. One of them was male acceptance–in my latter teenage years I did all I could to get what I thought was positive male attention; to be a Princess in their eyes. In reality, I was hurting myself, not realizing that what I wanted was a strong father figure in my life who loved me no matter what. When I came to that realization, I was thinking about sitting at Christ’s feet as he spoke, listening and meditating on his every word. Words of love and encouragement, not abuse and malice. A light bulb went off in my head, and I realized that what I’ve been searching and striving for all my life was with me already! I was God’s daughter! I was his Princess!

I still have a lot of past baggage to get rid of, but God isn’t finished with me yet; I’m just glad he didn’t bump me off along the way.

We have a Prayer Arena on our forum where we post spiritual questions, comments and random thoughts. Here is a post from the forum. It may be a bit random, but I wanted to share it with you, as it hopefully may help a few of you in your own spiritual awakening. God bless.

It’s sometimes difficult to relate to God as our father when we live in a physical world. He is unseen and infinite; sometimes we can’t hear him speak to us. Sometimes when we pray we feel like he doesn’t answer, or maybe sometimes we feel as if he doesn’t hear. For most of us, we think our sins will reduce his love for us as well as his faithfulness to do all he says in his word. No one is perfect; we all fall short of his standards. When we feel distant, chances are, we think he is distant. And many of us never had that close bond with our own fathers so we don’t know how to trust our Heavenly Father, and some of us had no father at all.

But his word says he is always present, always watching, always knowing, always faithful. He is our helper and friend, always there in times of trouble. When we receive the gift of salvation, we are given his Holy Spirit to help us communicate with God. The Holy Spirit is like an interpreter, who makes us understand the nature of God. The Holy Spirit helps us understand God’s will and teaches us to pray. He comforts, and gives us wisdom and insight that we wouldn’t get otherwise. He teaches us deep spiritual things, and most importantly, helps us to be obedient children.

We know that sin separates us from God; sin never separates us from being God’s children.

In the days of David after Saul was killed and David became king of Israel, there was a crippled grandson of Saul named Mephibosheth, the son of David’s best friend and knit-mate, Jonathan, who was killed at war. Mephibosheth was called to David thinking that he would be receiving a sword to his throat for being the grandson of the one responsible for trying to put David to death many times, but instead he was given a seat at David’s table–the highest honor!–to eat with him on a daily basis.

Mephibosheth said he was like a dead dog, and couldn’t understand why the king would allow him to take part at his feasts. But David, moved by love for Jonathan, allowed Mephibosheth to sit and eat and even provided for him land and servants for the rest of his life! This is a small picture of what God will do for us–his own children by Christ’s blood. We will sit at a great banquet table with Christ, our brother, all together as a big family! There is nothing we can do to deserve this kindness, it is freely given.

One small thing I want to share: Awhile ago, I was driving to the store on an errand as the adversary was condemning me for something. I was actually hearing screaming in my head. I was so upset I was crying in the car. I felt confused and horrible about myself. As soon as I walked in the store (I tried to dry my eyes as best as I could and hide my face from people) there was a song that was playing loudly; it was about a father who loved his daughter more than any other father could. That did it–I cried even more and had to leave the store! The condemnation stopped, and I recognized my place as a chosen, special daughter with an inheritance along with my brothers and sisters in Christ. We could never deserve that on our own no matter what.

Hope for Hurting World

2010-04-25T14:48:00.000-07:00

I am apologizing upfront for where this blog post will lead; the way my mind thinks is sometimes disjointed as I write. Even so, I will go with the flow (I say this as I smile) and pray that this will speak to someone, maybe even to you.

For the past 9 months or so I've been writing my testimony for another website which I'll share about later. I can't remember how many times I've stopped and started again. I don't like to look back but every time I do, I thank God for what He's done through those times and because of them.

I've met many people over the past few years who've written me for encouragement, prayer and help. I can't help but to feel for all of them, being reminded that I, too, have been where they are, and it's only by God's grace that I've been able to stand up after falling so many times. Although many of them did not come from abusive backgrounds, they share a common bond: they are believers who struggle knowing and understanding God and his purpose for their lives and developing intimacy with him. It's difficult to be sitting on the fence where you're stagnant and don't know which direction is better: the world, or the Word. Many of them experienced both. I did as well and don't ever want to go back.

I have been challenged this week with certain things. I seem to struggle in certain areas and will never say that I have attained all there is in the spiritual walk with Jesus. I want more, but having more means complete and willful surrender which, for me, needs to be done daily. It is challenging, but sometimes what seems to be more challenging is simple faith. A belief in the fact that God does really love us and cares about everything in our lives, and will do what He promises. Not just for the super-spiritual believer, but for those with a simple faith who trust Him. I also am learning how much we need to ask Him for things.

Many times I've heard from other well meaning believers that God does not need us to ask him everything like what to eat that day, what to wear, what to do in certain situations. Although I can see their point, what would happen if we talked to Him about everything? Even simple, insignificant things or things that would not be answered specifically by scripture? And what if He said something back? In some cases He speaks through our mind; in other cases, an audible voice and so on (He is without limit). Would you expect a response? And if it happens, would you be in shock? Having a relationship where I can hear God speak and know His voice above all else is something I desire more and more. I think so many believers have never experienced His genuine kindness in responding to our earthly cares and worries and don't know that it exists. But He already knows what's on our heart; we should ask in expectation with the understanding that He cares about each and every part of us and will answer us when we ask.

John 15:5

⁵"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. ⁶If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. ⁷If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. ⁸This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

¹⁶You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.

When God answers prayer and fulfills our heart's desires, it not only brings us joy, it glorifies God!
But, what happens when we have to wait?

I'm thankful for many, many things. Sometimes even for the simplest of them. I don't ever want to be ungrateful, even for the difficult times. Although I live in a country where we're prosperous compared to the rest of the world, sometimes life has it's way of defeating us, and leaving us with little hope. Yes, I have clothes, food (I can always use credit, but I'm just making a point), health and freedom. But even so, I've often wondered why I may go through something difficult, and how emotionally exhausting and challenging it can be. To be honest, things in my life can have a tendency to spiral downwards before they somewhat settle again; I never know what's going to happen and almost need to keep my guard up just in case. Why am I still perplexed and fearful over situations, having lived as a believer for nearly 24 years? I've had to learn patience with raising my kids and dealing with life, yet I still wish I didn't have to wait so long for any breakthroughs. Nor do I want to go through the process of dealing with issues any more than I have to. With all that said I sometimes need to remind myself that I do have the promises of a loving Father, and the ability to trust Him as I wait.

I have been reminded a few times this past week the importance of endurance for every believer; this is from a blog I read by John G. Elliot at just the right time:

    God puts a high premium on endurance. It appears that a primary role of trial, testing and tribulation (another word for “trouble”) is to produce this most singular character trait. Consider this passage:
            “Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.” (James 1:2)
            Endurance is an essential component of maturity. “And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” (James 1:3) Yet, there is something deeper still. This maturity or “completed state” of the disciple is found in Love. Love’s first description is that of patience (I Corinthians 13:4). Patience and Endurance are twins.

So I again I remind myself to be thankful for the things that may not make sense at the moment, for very difficult circumstances, knowing that somehow He will hear me and answer me, and will use these difficulties to produce something in me that otherwise I would not have. Because I know God is truthful and will not lie, I am assured that all of His promises given in His Word are true for me, even though I may have to wait. And for those who are unsure, I encourage you to keep a journal. Write down all of your concerns as you have a quiet moment with God, and pray over each of them. Ask for Him to show you what to read that day, and spend time to quietly listen. It's okay if you don't "hear" anything or know what to do; just go through the scriptures from the beginning of a book to the end. Write down what strikes you more than normal, and the promises He gives. Think and pray about those verses. When you begin to see prayers answered, mark it off in your journal so you always remember. This will be an important step to help build your faith and to learn to trust Him.

Many people who I communicate with have little hope. Without hope, there is a stagnant life, one not worth living. How my heart hurts because of this, and how often I still go through feelings of hopelessness. But as believers, not only are we given His Spirit, we are given His promises, and because of this, we have what others do not have: hope in the most difficult situations.

Isaiah 49:23 ~ Those who hope in me will not be disappointed.

May this Word remind you that He is faithful and will do what He promises in our life and for those you may be praying for.

Forward Motion

2010-03-28T18:33:00.000-07:00

I had been writing another blog post over the last two weeks, but I needed to post this one instead for now. Forward Motion is the first chapter break title of the new Shelter of Wings Volume 2, which also seems to be our motto this past week. I'm excited and a little anxious at the same time. There are new developments taking place in record time, after we've been praying and waiting and watching.

The image up top is from the first page of a double page spread in the new volume Spirit Song. I'm very excited about this book because it continues my own slow-but-sure momentum as a storyteller and artist (I hope to get there someday). It begins with flight, where we see a confident Mo with a not-so-calm Jenna converse as they are carried away through the atmosphere. I may show a few previews as I progress, but not much. This new volume will be the standard manga size, 5" x 7.5", in order for us to sell on Amazon and places like that. It's smaller than the first and I do prefer the larger size, but we're able to promote and print more widely this way.

We finally received a batch of the expanded version from the printer and I'm happy with the results. It's slightly wider than the last one by 1/2" which actually works better with the art. Some of the books may be cropped a little more at the top than I would have liked, but it'll pass. I've been busy with packaging and getting orders straight, and accommodating for international orders. I need to learn to be more organized since I seem to be spending all kinds of time trying to print up shipping labels correctly and mundane (but important) things like that.

We have been featured on Christian Comics International, the most complete Christian comic website which we highly support. I've been talking to lots of people (and getting orders!) while trying to manage family, home and a decent work schedule. I've been asked for an interview and still need to finish up a in-depth testimony that I began awhile ago. Although I have so much joy communicating with people, what brings me the most joy is realizing that Gold Plum Studio is moving forward, being led by the hand of God after waiting a long time to see when and where He would finally take us.

What's so exciting for both Shaina and I is the fact that these books will be translated into French for the French Canadians, Shaina's own people group. She and a few others will be doing the translating. I think she was more shocked about this than excited at first, but after the slow realization finally sunk in, we were both overwhelmed and amazed that our Father in Heaven would even consider using us to minister to this population, a very hardened people. We'll let you know our developments and will post some translated pages at some point.

I'll be updating the blog soon, but in the meantime, you need to get your orders for the Expanded Volume 1 in before they're sold out. They're at a reduced price right now and I'm already running low. Email us at shelterofwings.com if you are a previous customer and would like this new edition. We'll include a prayed-over collector's pin for you as well. Don't miss this opportunity! And thank you for all the feedback and support. I am literally overwhelmed.

This week some of you will celebrate Passover, while others will celebrate Christ's death and resurrection. It is one of my favorite and special times of the year. (I took the palm branches from church and wove them into a cross which I hung on my wall :) I love Jesus. I will share a little something with you from Thursday to Sunday this week. Nothing much, but it is from my heart. I hope and pray you'll feel God's presence and understand that no one is saved by works, but on faith alone in Christ, God's Son. And if you are still alive (which you are), there is hope.

:-)

The Marketplace

2010-02-24T17:57:00.000-08:00

While Shaina had been enjoying visiting old friends in Hawaii over the past week with her two daughters and husband, I was busy with family and work (but then again, I make myself busy;; the Martha mentality). This week was a blur, I have to admit, and as each day ended I found myself asking, "What did I do of any significance?" If I can't come up with anything substantial either with my family, others, home or work, even if I spent lots of time on something, I get down on myself. It's not very healthy, I know, and even though I may not accomplish a specific task, I understand that some things take time to achieve. But still, depressed I get. And I'm usually a very positive person.

Despite all that, there was one thing kept me going this week.

I've been praying about something specific that's been weighing on me. To back track, there have been many prayers that I have written in my journals over the past 20 years. Sometimes I'll come across one of the older books to recall what was going on back then and to see how many prayers were answered. Sometimes I'm amazed. One of my deepest prayers took 20 years to begin bearing fruit (Interestingly enough, God prepared me for that 20 year period of endurance although I begged Him not to wait that long). Other times He answers before I ask anything at all. There have been a few times when I desperately needed to hear a particular worship or praise song in my car and it would come on the radio immediately. I think you have to be a music person to understand why something like this would be so significant to a person like me. I'm not only a Martha by nature, but a David as well.

Back to the issue: Over the last year I've been asking God for a particular prayer that He impressed upon my heart. In addition to the many things I would like to see happen in my life and the lives of others, my simple prayer is this: "Lord, I want the marketplace." I'm not being rude or pretentious when I ask this because I know it's what God wants. I normally don't even say "please" or "if you want..." but "I want..." because I know HE wants. And when I say "I want", I actually mean for Gold Plum Studio, a collaboration between Shaina and me.

I recently looked up the word marketplace. I knew the meaning, but I wanted to find out if there was a broader meaning that I should be aware of. Marketplaces are similar to communities that buy and sell goods. But there is more to it than that. I felt that the marketplaces we are to participate in should be serving all peoples, not just the select few spiritual ones. We are Christ's hands and feet. This is a big deal to me. And I'm finding that readers of all kinds are interested in our faith-based stories and want to know what makes us tick. Although they have their own perceptions of who God is, it's so exciting to interact with those who are seeking truth or those with interesting questions or comments about life from their experiences. I was just like them.

So now, I pray for the marketplace.

And just for the record, when you seek after God's heart and ask him questions, He will impress certain prayers that you should be asking Him for. I know God gives us desires, but He also knows what makes us happy, and He promises to fulfill us in this lifetime. I don't think I ever believed that until I really became aware of how much love He pours over and into us. When we are joyful, it brings him joy. And when we are satisfied with His goodness, He is glorified.

Lessons #2

2010-02-11T05:35:00.000-08:00

Here are some more photos of the second wave of the storm! It really was quite breathtaking. I wish I took pictures of the backyard as my daughter Erica wanted me to make an igloo with her out there, but because of the snowfall I didn't want to ruin the camera. I may take more pictures as we shovel today. :)

Seen from my daughter's bedroom window! She actually had to shovel the roof :)

This is from our walkway facing our driveway.

And this is from our front porch. You can't even see the street; it really was an amazing site.
God's beauty is never ending and so awe inspiring.

Lessons from a pink shovel

2010-02-07T12:12:00.000-08:00

^{Psalm 44}

² With your hand you drove out the nations
       and planted our fathers;
       you crushed the peoples
       and made our fathers flourish.
³ It was not by their sword that they won the land,
       nor did their arm bring them victory;
       it was your right hand, your arm,
       and the light of your face, for you loved them.

⁶ I do not trust in my bow,
       my sword does not bring me victory;
⁷ but you give us victory over our enemies,
       you put our adversaries to shame.
⁸ In God we make our boast all day long,
       and we will praise your name forever.

We waited for the blizzard that was predicted over the last few days to hit our area unforgivingly. When the tiny flakes of snow began to appear, I braced myself for the worst. The snow continued to quickly accumulate over the Philly area as we slept, and by the time we woke up the next morning, found that it had settled to nearly 28 record inches high. We looked out the window to a beautiful, white sea; sparkling, brilliant and quiet. No one was on the road, and all federal buildings were closed. It was so peaceful aside from the sounds of my footsteps on our wooden porch as I walked outside for inspection, and the soft, gentle breeze blowing the snow off the tree branches.

The time had come to shovel the walkways and long driveway of our home. I always wanted to live in a neighborhood with no sidewalks, so imagine my joy knowing we wouldn't have to shovel along our property line. As you may have guessed, I don't like shoveling snow. It's hard. I'm serious. Especially after a fall like this one.

We handed out the best shovels to the kids and adults; and as I opened the garage to look for a broom or something to sweep over the cars, found a girl's little pink shovel, about 3 feet long, tucked away along the edge of the wall. I hadn't seen it in years, and remembered how my daughter used it when she was about 5 or so. I laughed at myself as I picked it up and showed everyone how I was going to "help" them with the monumental workload. I don't think they believed me.

I surprised myself. Not only did I begin to clear a few feet of snow from the edge of the driveway, but I worked my way rather quickly and easily to the garbage bins. I didn't care what anybody thought, and I started laughing. Since the head of the shovel was only about 14 inches long, and since the snow was easily packing into it, I found that I was able to lift a 2 cubic ft mound of snow, toss it aside then keep going; if I had been using a regular adult shovel I would have probably conked out a lot sooner. So, I persevered and made it to one of our vehicles that looked more like a 4 ft. white hill and cleared a good path around it, then went further out into the driveway to meet the others. One household member (nameless) went inside at that point, and as the time passed, others left as well. Aside from my husband, I was the only one left still holding that little shovel in my hand. I tried to change it once during the excavation, but found I liked using it too much and was more productive with it. I made a big dent in the work and laughed at myself again. I think God is trying to tell me something.

Over the last few years there were so many things I wanted to accomplish. I wanted to learn animation. I wished I could be doing more illustrating and design; I wished to be more productive in the art side of life and I would absolutely love to take classes again; but instead had to teach and of course be involved with family (not that I mind the latter; I love my family and want the best for them). I felt that I wasn't given what others had, but should that make a difference? I knew we are given what He wants to give us, and as long as we are faithful; He will make us succeed according to His timing. Still, I was bothered. I am passionate about manga art.

I was given Psalm 44 a few years back and kept coming across it in my journal entries. It speaks loudly to me; that we are not to trust in ourselves but in God only; HE is the one that gives victory and success, not our talents, giftings, or whatever we possess. Oftentimes I wished to possess more, to do more, to influence more. But somehow I always came back to this passage, and last night was no exception. I opened up my bible to see this psalm with verses 3 and 6 underlined. Maybe I'm finally getting it. That little pink shovel just reinforced that fact. And I have so much thankfulness in the fact that although I feel like I'm taking baby steps to accomplish goals, I know God is ultimately the one who provides the victory. Afterall, He is the one who provides us our little pink shovels.

New Site UP

2010-02-01T18:05:00.000-08:00

www.shelterofwings.com

Finally, after many cross-eyed hours of fixing code, we have the new site up! I created using Firefox and did not have the ability to view in IE until it was too late; for all IE users, you will see a blank index page even though all other pages will load, so sorry about that. Shaina and I are working to fix the errors. But just between you and me, convert to Firefox^_^

Please let me know if there are any broken links or skewed pages. Thanks!...Now I'm off to get on with my life....

Site Modifications

2010-01-26T12:45:00.000-08:00

We're just about there :)

How He Loves

2010-01-12T07:09:00.000-08:00

There is a song I recently heard while driving home that I wanted to share with you. I've been a fan of David Crowder Band for a few years after hearing songs like "He is our King" and "Everything Glorious". DC's voice has so much passion, and many times God chose his music to minister His Spirit to me.

Growing up, I never understood what it meant to be loved. I was taken care of in a physical sense and always was provided for, but to be loved? What does that mean? And what does God mean when He says He loves us?

How He Loves is from the album Church Music released Sept 2009. It overwhelmed me so much I thought I would have to stop the car for fear that I wouldn't be able to see the road. I think I'm coming to a slow realization what God's love actually means, and what it truly feels like. How much I need to feel it and know it to be true. Adapted by the song that John Mark McMillan wrote a few years back, I hope it truly ministers to you. Embedding this video is not allowed, but please access the official video on YouTube link below. God bless.

How He Loves

Morning Thoughts

2009-12-31T07:11:00.000-08:00

When I woke up this morning I was shocked to see it snow. I hadn't bothered to read up on the weather since we weren't going out for New Years, I actually enjoy lounging around the house in sweats and spending a relaxing time with my family or with very close friends. The landscape is pretty; the white flakes cascade down in a sing-song pattern, and I am inspired. I love the quiet; it somehow brings peace to my soul.

We live near Philly which is known for temperature extremes. Although I joke to my husband Kevin about moving to California someday, I think we'll possibly stay on the East Coast. I do prefer a warm climate and don't particularly love winter sports just because I get cold easily. On the other hand I dislike laying on a beach. But what we do have in the area is a range of temperature and landscape which invites plenty of people and activities. New York to the north, D.C to the south, mountains further northwest and the shoreline to the east. I think I like living where I do.

My tri-color cavalier Pepper and long-haired black cat Clea get me up every morning like little kids wanting to open presents on Christmas. I sent Pepper outside the backyard this time, something I dislike doing since she tends to greet all her neighborhood friends quite loudly. I didn't feel like getting all dressed to go out in the snow. She bounded out as normal and I was glad that she wouldn't come back in bringing mud or dirt with her. The snow keeps her feet pure white and clean. Some days I am not so fortunate!

We have a few patches in the back where grass doesn't grow no matter how many times we plant seeds. Not enough light, and the dirt doesn't seem to drain as well as in other areas. We often get a muddy swamp during rain. In those times I make sure Pepper is walked outside from the front of the house. But this morning was safe--the ground was frozen solid and covered, so it wouldn't matter where she stepped. The cold had changed the ground completely.

As I made coffee, I watched Pepper living in glory through the kitchen window. I thought about the changing weather and I related it to my own life. What would it be like not to be affected by environment like my backyard is affected by short drops in temperature and slight trickles of rain? What would it take to allow me to walk in stability, without doubting, getting anxious, fearful, or depressed? Why do my emotions tend to go up and down based on what's around me? Why am I not steady enough to consider myself like others, unwavering, strong and faithful--even after over 20 years of surrender to God?

I've been reading over and over about the life of David, a true man after God's own heart, and often related his life to my own. Not so much that I would be king (haha) but in the sense that I can relate so easily to his thoughts, acts of faith and purpose, victories and failures. Of all the prophets and great men and women of God, it is David who brings me closest to the Father. King David lived a life with many difficulties. He fled from the anger of Saul and hid in the wilderness for years to escape death. Some of the Psalms reflect his anguish, pain and sorrow through these times. Although he led great campaigns of victory for Israel, was king for 40 years and established the preparations for the building of the temple, no one can ever tell me he didn't get extremely depressed and fearful.

A short time ago I was watching a preacher talk about outward joy and how we should always be smiling because it is a refection of our trust and faith in God. I appreciated what he said. While it's true that when we have inner joy it shows on the outside. But this isn't always the case. I am a naturally melancholic person. I am never the life of the party, and I prefer to be quiet and to listen. I am on the shy side and was always turned off by very loud, brash people. I love getting together with others but oftentimes find myself becoming exhausted instead of invigorated after a few hours. There is lots to say about outward joy, and this is important in the life of every believer, because it is through outward joy, among other things, that people are drawn to the believer. But I can't help but to think how deeply melancholic I can be.

I know I have joy. Joy is a deep down assurance that God is in control, no matter what happens on the outside. Joy, to me, is not outward but inward. It's a hope and trust in only one source, not a result of our circumstances. That, to me, is happiness, not joy. But maybe I have a problem. I am so affected by circumstances that I easily get discouraged or at least down. I often hear how people rise above circumstances in a heartbeat. Why, so often, is this difficult for me? Is this a lack of faith, or how I'm wired? I hope to figure it out someday.

I created an angelic character named Ramvis who is always in emotional pain. Although part of me wrestles with his nature of sadness while being in Heaven and in constant communion with God, I sometimes feel that it's contradictory. How can an angel be in a constant state of sadness when they are surrounded by the LORD Most High himself? What kind of message am I sending?

I created Ramvis for a purpose after someone wrote to me about her constant sadness. She is a believer, but because of emotional trauma, somehow the joy of life escaped her. I know many people like her, and sometimes related to her pain myself. I'm much better now (still a work in progress), but I remember always walking with my head down while growing up. People would come up to me at school and tell me to "Smile!" I hated hearing that. I really did. But I smiled just because they told me to, not because I wanted to. They had no clue what was happening in my life, so I had a right not to smile.

But the name Ramvis is taken from the ram, the animal God used as a sacrifice instead of Isaac in Genesis 22. Abraham, who was about to take his son Isaac's life out of obedience, who was in anguish to do what he was commanded, saw a ram caught in the bushes after an angel stopped him from his sacrifice. He used the ram instead.

Gen. 22:14:
So Abraham called that place The LORD Will Provide. And to this day it is said, "On the mountain of the LORD it will be provided." (NIV)

So Ramvis is a picture of God's provision through God's mercy. His nature proclaims the mercy of God as people cry out to God in anguish. God hears, provides, and gives us hope. I can't imagine living without a God like this.

So now Pepper is inside, she has been for awhile, and she sleeps peacefully on our couch. The snow has stopped falling during the time I was writing this note. I hear it's going to rain. Despite how much I want to believe I will be okay, that everything will be okay, and that even though the rain will mess up my backyard again, my heart will remain joyful. I may not always show it, and I may not always be smiling, but deep down He knows my heart.

Belated Christmas Wishes :)

2009-12-26T07:51:00.000-08:00

I wanted to thank everyone for visiting the site on Christmas. We had more people then anticipated so I'll try to have something special every year. Jesus is alive! Happy belated Christmas with a special prayer for the coming new year!

The site is still undergoing a few more tweaks. We'll have it up shortly. All is good so far...we'll see what happens when I try to create updates! T.T

God bless!

New Season

2009-12-14T17:45:00.000-08:00

So here is my first post of hopefully many in Blogger as I soon open the new Shelter site. Although I tried numerous times to import all my old posts from Wordpress, I had no success, so as a new season begins, I too, start with a clean slate.

It's hard for me to believe that at this point last year I was just about ready to quit comics. I seemed to drag my way through the day, through school, through life, feeling that the things promised to me would not come to pass. What compounded the matter was the fact that although I loved being with my students I felt uninspired to meet their needs as other teachers who are called to serve in classrooms. Although I knew in my heart this was not what God had planned for me to be doing as a career, I somehow kept losing hope that anything would change. Why do I always do this? And why is it hard for me to let go of my will and to accept His in return?

I sit by my pc in the end bedroom of our colonial home, looking out the window. Although it's night, somehow the darkness doesn't seem quite so dark as before. God is who He says He is, no matter what the circumstance. I don't need to ask Him to be faithful. He has always been. And I don't need to ask him to love me, he can't do otherwise. But I will ask him to lead me, to show me who He is, to give me strength to persevere, for me to be patient and to be faithful to Him. I fall so short.

In the end nothing matters more than how we loved and served Him; and how we loved and served others. I'm amazed that He would choose someone like me to enter His family; to lavish His love and mercy upon. And how He chose to entrust us with giftings and talent that we can glorify Him with. He tells us to ask him for our heart's desires because not only does it make us happy, but it glorifies him to meet our needs! He is an amazing God.

So as I share this new blog with you, I share the new season in my life. Shelter will open up soon. When that happens I'll probably feel like flying...or crying. A big thank you hug to those who have stuck by me all this time, I have a small holiday gift if you come back Christmas day. I promise!